I’m over it y’all

Guys. I’m gonna be honest here.

I am OVER this.

I am over living in a parking lot.

I’m over it being gray and rainy and cold.

I’m over taking showers in a lime green bathroom, under florescent lights.

I’m over this last semester of college.

I’m over homework, and group projects, and going to class sporadically throughout the week.

I’m over not having any money, and not being able to afford little luxuries from time to time.

I’m over the feeling of barely making it.

I’m over it.

These last few days have been shit. I accidentally ran into a pillar in the school parking garage (TWICE) and I fucked up my mirror to the point where I have to pay $300 to get it fixed. I have been working on my taxes because I procrastinate beyond belief, and it looks like I’m going to have to pay the government money, which sucks. I’m worrying that I’m annoying my friends by my incessant need to be around them (extroverts you feel me?).

And honestly, all I want is to lay in bed. All day. In an air conditioned home. With wifi. And snacks.

So that’s where I’m at today in this wildly unglamorous life of mine. I’m fucking sick of the parking lot and I want to get a move on already.

BUT, here’s the optimistic resolution you were all looking for: I know it’s going to get better. I know that in 39 days, I’ll graduate from college, and then I’ll be starting on my grand adventure out to California, where I’ll be living out my dream of becoming a whitewater rafting guide. I know that the money will come, and that I have been blessed with parents who have continually helped me out through every sticky situation I’ve found myself in. I know that the sun will come out and the temperature will turn up. I know that I’m not going to feel like this forever. 

But today it sucks. And I’m over it.


15 thoughts on “I’m over it y’all

  1. DeliDariaArt says:

    Answer yourself three questions: do you have pain from debilitating disease! Are you disabled? Did you lose someone you lived more, than yourself?
    If answer is NO, you can keep going and looking for someone you can have relationships with and activities, which will make your life meaningful, because, what you’re going through called LIFE!
    If you’re going through Hell, observe every moment of it: just keep on going through it: there will be light at the end of it! I promise!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jocelyn Figueroa says:

    I’m sorry you’re having such a rough day! But, you’re right — it gets better! This won’t last forever, as nothing does. I hope the rest of your week isn’t so bad 🙂

    Jocelyn | S&S

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Nerdzilla says:

    Feel the feelings, it’s completely valid and reasonable to be over it from time to time. I’m doing this challenge currently that preaches that life happens for us, not to us, that we have to embrace the challenges because they help us develop into our best selves. And that’s totally cool and I’m with it, but I still have moments here and there with a case of the fuckits. Sending goodness. Xoxo SSDGN

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Peggy says:

    Yep! I get it, hell, I feel the same a lot of the time. Know you are loved and it’s one step at a time. Unfortunately, some of those steps are HUGE. You’ll get there.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cara says:

    Reading this 21 hours later, it’s only 38 days now! I’m hugely inspired by your honesty and your courage to make your life what you want. If all else fails, know that you’re reminding the rest of us to live a full life, even if it looks nothing like the movies.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rhi says:

    We just got a van so I am going to be all over your posts seeking words of wisdom! Because now instead of it being a dream, its on its way to being real. And for you, its just 39 days and counting! x

    Liked by 1 person

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